The Sports Report
9/21/08
My Sports Piccz
Baseball – 6-9(43-39-52%)
Football – 0-0 (0-1-0%)
College Football – 8-8 (9-9-50%)
Parlay – LOST (0-6)
Guaranteed – 0-2 (4-4)
Major League Baseball
· In the American League…
· The Yankees (84-71) def. Baltimore (67-86) 1-0.
· Toronto (83-72) def. Boston (90-64) 6-3. Jason Bay (Bos) hit his 31st homer of the year. Roy Halladay (Tor) got his 19th win of the year (19-11). BJ Ryan (Tor) got his 32nd save of the year.
· Tampa Bay (92-61) def. Minnesota (83-72) 7-2. Scott Kazmir (TB) got his 12th win of the year (12-7). Tampa Bay CLINCHES a PLAYOFF BERTH!
· Oakland (73-81) def. Seattle (57-97) 8-7.
· Cleveland (77-77) def. Detroit (71-82) 6-3.
· Kansas City (70-85) def. MY WHITE SOX (85-69) 5-2. Joakim Soria (KC) got his 41st save of the year.
· The Angels (95-59) def. Texas (75-80) 7-3. Francisco Rodriguez (LAA) got his 60th save of the year.
· In the National League…
· The Cubs (93-60) def. St. Louis (80-74) 5-4. Troy Glaus (STL) hit his 25th homer of the year. The Cubs CLINCH THE NL CENTRAL!!!! Kerry Wood (CHC) got his 32nd save of the year. Ted Lilly (CHC) got his 16th win of the season (16-9).
· Cincinnati (72-82) def. Milwaukee (84-71) 4-3. Francisco Cordero (Cin) got his 32nd save of the year.
· Atlanta (68-87) def. The Mets (86-68) 4-2.
· Pittsburgh (65-90) def. Houston (81-73) 6-4.
· San Diego (60-95) def. Washington (58-97) 6-1.
· Philadelphia (87-68) def. Florida (81-73) 3-2. Brad Lidge (Phi) got his 39th save of the year.
· Arizona (77-77) def. Colorado (71-84) 5-3.
· The Dodgers (81-74) def. San Francisco (69-86) 10-7. Manny Ramirez (LAD) hit two homers in the game (35,36).
· The playoff race looks like this…
· The AL East is led by Tampa Bay by 2 ½ games over Boston.
· The AL Central is led by MY WHITE SOX by 2 ½ game over Minnesota.
· The AL West has been WON by the Los Angeles Angels!
· The AL Wildcard is held by Boston.
· The NL East is led by Philadelphia by ½ games over The Mets.
· The NL Central has been WON by the Chicago Cubs!
· The NL West is led by The Dodgers by 3 ½ game over Arizona.
· The NL Wildcard is held by The Mets.
· The League Leaders look like this…
· The AL Batting Average leader is Joe Mauer (Min) .329
· The NL Batting Average leader is Chipper Jones (Atl) .362
· The AL Home Run leader is Carlos Quentin (CWS) / Miguel Cabrera (Det) 36
· The NL Home Run leader is Ryan Howard (Phi) 46
· The AL RBI leader is Justin Morneau (Min) 128
· The NL RBI leader is Ryan Howard (Phi) 141
· The AL Win leader is Cliff Lee (Cle) 22
· The NL Win Leader is Brandon Webb (Ari) 21
· The AL ERA leader is Cliff Lee (Cle) 2.41
· The NL ERA leader is Tim Lincecum (SF) 2.46
· The AL Saves leader is Francisco Rodriguez (LAA) 60 * RECORD *
· The NL Saves leader is Jose Valverde (Hou) 42
· My picks for the post season awards so far look like this…
· AL MVP – Justin Morneau (Min) or Carlos Quentin (CWS)
· NL MVP – Manny Ramirez (LAD)
· AL Cy Young – Cliff Lee (Cle)
· NL Cy Young – Brandon Webb (AZ)
National Football League
· No news today.
· The League Leaders look like this…
· Passing – Ben Roethlisberger (Pit) 136.3 rating
· Rushing – Adrian Peterson (Min) 263 yards
· Receiving Yards – Greg Jennings (GB) 258 yards
· Receptions - Brandon Marshall (Den) 18 receptions
· Sacks – John Abraham (Atl) 4 sacks
· Tackles – Jonathan Vilma (NO) 25 tackles
· Interceptions – Cortland Finnegan (Ten) 3 interceptions
National Basketball Association
· No news today.
NCAA College Football – Top 25
* #3 Georgia (4-0) def. Arizona State (2-2) 27-10.
* #4 Florida (3-0) def. Tennessee (1-2) 30-6.
· #5 Missouri (4-0) def. Buffalo (2-2) 42-21. Chase Daniels (Mizz) threw for 439 yards.
· #6 LSU (3-0) def. #10 Auburn (3-1) 26-21.
· #7 Texas (3-0) def. Rice (2-2) 52-10.
· #9 Alabama (4-0) def. Arkansas (2-1) 49-14.
· #11 Texas Tech (4-0) def. Massechusetts (2-2) 56-14.
· #12 South Florida (4-0) def. Florida International (0-3) 17-9.
· #13 Ohio State (3-1) def. Troy (2-1) 28-10.
· #14 BYU (4-0) def. Wyoming (2-2) 44-0.
· North Carolina State (2-2) def. #15 East Carolina (3-1) 30-24.
· #16 Penn State (4-0) def. Temple (1-3) 45-3.
· Boise State (3-0) def. #17 Oregon (3-1) 37-32. Kellen Moore(BSU) threw for 386 yards.
· #18 Wake Forest (3-0) def. #24 Florida State (2-1) 12-3.
· #19 Kansas (3-1) def. Sam Houston State (1-1) 38-14.
· #20 Utah (4-0) def. Air Force (3-1) 30-23.
· #23 Clemson (3-1) def. South Carolina State (2-2) 54-0.
· #25 Fresno State (2-1) def. Toledo (1-2) 55-54 in 2 OT.
· The League Leaders look like this…
· Passing – David Johnson (Tulsa) 225.93 rating
· Rushing – Donald Brown (UCONN) 716 yards
· Receiving Yards – Darius Passmore (Mar) 473 yards
· Receptions – Kerry Meier (Kan) / James Casey (Rice) 37 receptions
· Interceptions – 3 tied with 4 interceptions.
Pro Wrestling
· Here are the results for WWE Friday Night Smaccdown…
WWE Smackdown
September 19, 2008
Nashville, TN
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…” The WWE video leads us into the show.We get a little video package highlighting the events from last week. We start off with Triple H talking about Unforgiven and we get a flashback to the ultra fun Scramble. Then Jeff Hardy comes out and Triple H talks about how Jeff is always one step away from that brass ring. We then go to the Fatal Four Way which Jeff won with an impressive Swanton Bomb on two men. Then the Moscow Mauler comes out and brutalizes Jeff Hardy and we end the package with a close up of probably the ugliest guy in wrestling today.The Smackdown video now leads us into the arena in Nashville, Tennessee and we are treated to another spectacular pyrotechnics display. WWE Hall of Famer Jim Ross and The Tazz welcome us to the broadcast.Advertised for tonight is Jeff Hardy vs. The Brian Kendrick. Also we’ll be seeing Triple H taking on MVP in a non-title match!We’re opening this show up with a championship match! The Diva’s Championship will be defended for the second time in its history and the first time in the history of Smackdown!
WWE Diva’s Championship
Michelle McCool (c) vs. Maryse
The bell rings and this match begins. The two women circle the ring before locking up. McCool quickly wrenches the left and goes behind for a waist lock but Maryse gets behind her and gets the waist lock. McCool quickly takes her down with a drop toe hold and floats over for a front face lock. Maryse gets up to a vertical position and gets out of it with a hammerlock! She quickly gets the Diva’s Champion in a headlock and then hits a headlock takedown and keeps it locked in on the mat. McCool tries to carry her over for a pin but only gets a one count. McCool then brings her leg into her face and gets her in a neck grapevine but Maryse does a forward summersault and gets the side headlock back on! McCool gets up to a vertical base and elbows out of it and throws Maryse into the ropes. Maryse takes her down with a shoulder tackle! Maryse shows off a little bit after the tackle and picks the Champion up and whips her down to the mat by her hair! She ignores the referee as he admonishes her and she poses for the fans in attendance.McCool gets up angrily and Maryse kicks her in the midsection and follows it up with some punches before sending her into the ropes. Maryse goes to clothesline her but McCool ducks and come off the ropes again and Maryse does a split and McCool summersaults over that! McCool then steps on the back of Maryse’s head crushing it into the mat then gives a low dropkick to the face! McCool goes for a pin but Maryse rolls out of the ring for a breather. McCool does Maryse’s taunt from inside of the ring, obviously mocking her.Maryse gets back into the ring and feigns injury to the referee before charging McCool but the crafty champion pulls down the middle rope and Maryse flies to the outside. McCool is on the apron trying to pull her in by her hair but Maryse chop blocks the knee and the Diva’s Champion goes down. Maryse pulls McCool’s head over the apron and hits a running kick to her temple! Maryse gets on the apron and taunts the crowd again before hitting a snapping dropkick using the ropes to the champion and then she enters the ring. Maryse covers and gets a very annoying one count. As you all know from last week’s Mike’s Thoughts I hate the one count in a Diva’s match.Maryse showboats again but the referee keeps her off McCool who is holding her neck. Maryse is happy and is now jumping. Maryse kicks her in the chest and mounts her for the ground and pound. Whoa that sounded wrong as hell! McCool then counters into a roll up and gets a two count! Now that’s more like it!!The two women are now on their knees slugging it out. It’s degenerating into a street fight. Maryse hits a knee to the midsection and slams McCool down to the mat by her hair and onto her face. Maryse now does her signature chin lock. I like how she does that. McCool is asking for the crowd to help and they do and she gets up to her feet and gets out of it with two butts to the midsection but Maryse slams her down to the mat by her hair and covers and gets a one count.Maryse looks frustrated as she picks the champion up by her hair and punches her in the face again and again. Maryse whips McCool into the corner but McCool lifts up and gets her legs around Maryse’s head but Maryse throws McCool’s legs over the top rope and she lands on the apron. McCool then hits a shoulder to Maryse’s midsection and vaults over the top rope with a dropkick to Maryse’s face. McCool takes Maryse down with a clothesline and when she pops back up she takes her down with a nice dropkick. Maryse gets up and gets a kick to the midsection. McCool then goes into the ropes and comes off with a flipping neckbreaker and gets a two count!Maryse goes into the corner and elbows McCool in the face when she approaches her. Maryse charges and McCool gets her in position for a backslide but flips it over and has a butterfly lock on. McCool now lifts Maryse up and drops her down to the mat face first in a sitout position! Tazz mentions that this is called the Wings of Love. Really?! They can’t think of anything better than that? Maybe it’s a shot at Christopher Daniels? Anyway, that causes McCool to retain the Diva’s Championship!
Winner by Pinfall & STILL Diva’s Champion: Michelle McCool
McCool holds the championship up as the fans applaud. There wasn’t anything wrong with this match at all!On October 2nd and 3rd it is WWE’s 1-2 Punch
– Wrestlemania 24 will be shown for the first time on network television on Thursday, October 2nd and WWE Smackdown will debut on MyNetwork on October 3rd. Of course they didn’t say it was MyNetwork again but it did say to check your local listings!Backstage Vickie Guerrero and Big Show are sitting on a couch. Big Show is dominating that couch. He is just too big. Big Show says that they are a true power couple because she is going to help him get the WWE Championship around his waist and he is going to help her get Smackdown to where she wants it. All of a sudden there is a knock at the door and Eve Torres comes in for an interview. Eve asks Vickie if she thinks the Undertaker is here tonight and if so would he be seeking retribution. Vickie angrily says “next question.” Eve then says that she’s been training really hard to get in the ring and asks if she can get in soon. Big Show and Vickie start laughing. Big Show tells Eve to sit down. Show says he’s going to show Eve why her first question is totally irrelevant. I feel an Undertaker being destroyed video package will play. I was right. It shows the brutally boring beat down from Unforgiven again.
:::Commercial Break:::
A video package narrated by Shawn Michaels showcases the devastation caused by Hurricane Ike. Help by donating to the Red Cross by going to WWE.com, redcross.com or by calling 1-800-REDCROSS.We’re inside Tootsie’s Bar in Nashville, TN. The crowd is dancing to the music of a bar band. God bless bar bands. We then see the outside of the Sommet Center, which is where Smackdown emanates from tonight.Its biscuits and gravy time! Jesse and Festus come out dressed like moving men and we see highlights from last week which features them wrapping up Kenny Dykstra.Next out is Ryan Braddock. Perhaps this will be the next jobber being wrapped up and hopefully shipped back to FCW.
Festus w/ Jesse vs. Ryan Braddock
The bell rings and Festus makes his transformation by immediately taking Braddock down with a right hand. Festus puts Braddock in the corner and pummels him a bit before the referee gets him off. Festus goes for the butt bump but Braddock moves out of the way and hits a front dropkick to the Corn Fed Colossus, sending him down into the corner. Braddock now pummels Festus in the corner. Braddock kicks him in the midsection and bounces the back of Festus’s head off the turnbuckle a few times. Festus starts coming back with a few right hands but Braddock gets a knee to the midsection and shoots into the ropes and comes back into a huge uppercut from Festus! Braddock gets up and gets knocked down by a Festus haymaker! They do this a few times until Festus whips him into the corner and hits the Butt Bump. Festus then runs into the ropes and trips over Braddock who gets Festus in a chin lock. The crowd starts chanting for Festus and he gets up to his feet with Braddock on his back and jumps backwards with his weight landing on Braddock! Ouch! Festus then goes into the ropes and knocks him down with a big boot and signals to the crowd! Festus then comes off the ropes and hits the Flying Biscuit. Festus then gets Braddock on his shoulders and hits his Fireman’s Carry Flapjack and Jesse throws him the duct tape and says, “Its moving time!”Jesse also throws in a humungous roll of bubble wrap and he and Festus start wrapping Braddock up with duct tape as the referee calls for the bell.
Winner by Disqualification: Ryan Braddock
Festus goes back to being catatonic after the bell rings. Jesse starts tying Braddock’s feet as we go to commercial.
:::Commercial Break:::
As we come back from the break we see that MyMoving Co. has Braddock on the trolley in bubble wrap and lots of tape and they’re wheeling him away. He’s screaming so they put duct tape over his mouth.Advertised for tonight, the return of my favorite interview show –
Carlito’s Cabana is back on Smackdown!Backstage, Vickie is now sitting next to Big Show on the couch and that has to suck because he takes up the whole thing. She’s not a small woman and she looks totally cramped. They laughing and Big Show impersonates Eve asking them what they’ll do if the Undertaker is there. Vickie is laughing and she says if he shows up she’s going to make him get on his knees and apologize for everything he’s done to her! Big Show laughs and says if Undertaker shows up tonight he’s going to humble him – and not humble him in the way The Iron Sheik would like to do to B. Brian Blair! Look that up on YouTube if you don’t know what I’m talking about.Vickie says she wants to see Big Show do the exact same thing to the Undertaker at No Mercy and we now go into the video package of Big Show beating down the Undertaker AGAIN! Come on!!Tazz and Jim Ross talk about how they don’t remember the last time they’ve seen Undertaker beat down so badly. They always say that every time Undertaker gets beaten down.Shelton Benjamin is now on the screen saying that being a Gold Standard means being the best and on top. Benjamin says it’s also about making the right decisions and his decisions have made him the greatest commodity in WWE today. He says his opponent’s decisions led him to spending thirteen months in a county prison. Being in a county prison isn’t as tough as a maximum security one. Of course I can only speculate from watching the prison shows on TV… Benjamin says a man who makes those kinds of decisions can never be in the same league as the Gold Standard.Shelton Benjamin now makes his way out to the ring. I’m just assuming he’s talking about R-Truth…R-Truth makes his way through the crowd rapping his theme song “What’s Up?” I can’t stress to you enough how much my girlfriend hates this guy. I make my own decisions independent of hers but I have to agree with her. I don’t think he’s going anywhere anytime soon. I just hope he starts growing on me soon because he’s been failing so far.Shelton Benjamin has a look of absolute disgust on his face. That’s hilarious.
Shelton Benjamin vs. R-Truth
This is a non-title match for those of you who really wanted to know. The bell rings and Benjamin is still looking at him from across the ring with disgust. I love that face. It takes a while before they finally lock up. They struggle and Benjamin backs him up into the corner and we get a clean break!! Benjamin disrespects R-Truth by turning his back to him while walking away. He then turns and R-Truth does not look happy. Hey, you got the clean break didn’t you?? What more do you want??They go to lock up again but Benjamin immediately goes down and takes R-Truth down with a single leg and turns him over to his stomach and gets a waist lock on. R-Truth keeps trying to slither out but Benjamin is controlling him. Remember, Benjamin was a former All American amateur wrestler. R-Truth eventually rolls into the ropes. Benjamin is yelling in his face and R-Truth back elbows him in the face! Benjamin now attacks and pummels R-Truth while he’s on the ropes. Benjamin whips R-Truth into the ropes and R-Truth comes off with a beautiful 360 Degree Flying Elbow. I can’t argue that that isn’t a nice move.R-Truth now is pummeling Benjamin and kicks him down in the corner before the referee gets him off. R-Truth does what he is told and it takes a while for Benjamin to get out of the corner but when he does he is angry and kicks R-Truth in the midsection. Benjamin clubs him down and punches him in the back of the head. Benjamin picks R-Truth up and punches and kicks him in the midsection again. R-Truth gets Benjamin’s hands off his head and takes Benjamin down with a nice jumping calf kick! This gets R-Truth a two count.R-Truth sends Benjamin into the ropes and goes for a hip toss but Benjamin counters into an Exploder/T-Bone Suplex! Benjamin now kicks R-Truth in the back of the head a few times and starts hitting some crossfaces before rubbing his face in the mat! Benjamin then hits a backbreaker and keeps R-Truth across his knee and pushes down on his face, putting pressure on his back! Benjamin holds it in for a bit before R-Truth punches out of it. Benjamin comes back with a stiff kick to the ribs. Benjamin then picks him up and does a hard Irish whip into the turnbuckle! Benjamin then brings R-Truth to the center of the ring and digs his knee into the lower back and pulls back on his chin. R-Truth fights back to a vertical base and starts hitting Benjamin with some right hands and kicks. He hits a few uppercuts as well and Benjamin responds with a kick to the midsection before going to bounce R-Truth’s head off the turnbuckle but R-Truth blocks it and hits more right hands! Benjamin hits a drop toe hold and R-Truth sloppily takes it and Benjamin hits some more crossfaces before going back to the chin lock.The fans begin chanting for R-Truth and he gets to his feet and elbows out and hits a right hand. R-Truth whips Benjamin but Benjamin reverses and whips R-Truth and Benjamin gets him in a Sleeper Hold. I was just thinking how I haven’t seen that hold in a while. R-Truth gets out of it with a sitout jawbreaker! R-Truth hits a swift kick to the midsection and goes for his Scissors Kick but Benjamin moves and gets him in a waist lock but R-Truth jumps and floats Benjamin over in a rollup for the upset victory!
Winner by Pinfall: R-Truth
R-Truth goes to the outside and is smiling while Shelton Benjamin looks upset in the ring.
In the corner of the screen is Gregory Helms in a pre-taped interview! He says that Hurricane Helms is coming back to Smackdown with a newsflash – apparently the price of gold just went down! Nice!Up next – The #1 Contender for the WWE Championship Jeff Hardy vs. the former interim WWE Champion The Brian Kendrick!
:::Commercial Break:::
Just For Men Hair Color brings us the WWE Rewind which is Vladimir Kozlov demolishing Jeff Hardy after the Fatal Four Way last week.Jeff Hardy is now making his way to the ring. Since this is taped on Tuesday he is just mere hours away from the embarrassing incident at the Nashville Airport.Hardy has a microphone and says he’s been in WWE off and on for about ten years and that gets a pop. Hardy says the journey hasn’t always been a smooth one. He says over that time he’s become known as a risk taker – reckless, crazy, EXTREME! Gee… foreshadow much?? Hardy says this is why he’s our Charismatic Enigma! Mr. E. Nigma. Edward Nigma. Hardy says when people have negative thoughts about him it doesn’t phase him because he is comfortable in his own skin and he hopes we respect that. Hardy says last week Triple H said something that made him think – that comment about the brass ring. Hardy says Triple H said he’s never gotten the big one. Hardy says at first he was angry but then he realized what Triple H was trying to do – motivate him, fire him up and make him better. Hardy says congratulations because he did motivate him, fire him up and make him better and at No Mercy he isn’t reaching for the brass ring – he’s reaching for the WWE Championship!Hardy says he’s like to speak of Vladimir Kozlov now. Hardy says he’s always craving competition but last week Kozlov hits him from behind after a match. Good point. Hardy says something else but it’s cut off by The Brian Kendrick’s music.The Kendrick comes out with a microphone and says Jeff is forgetting about someone. The Kendrick says regardless of what Kozlov did to him last week he has bigger fish to fry. He now has to face The Brian Kendrick! Hardy says it’s The Brian Kendrick that he beat last week to become THE Number One Contender! He emphasized “The” a lot. The Kendrick says that was last week and last week was some sort of chaotic free for all and not the place for him to show off his talents but tonight is a one on one match. The Kendrick says maybe Jeff has something else to do like an extra curricular activity that Triple H mentioned.
Jeff Hardy vs. The Brian Kendrick w/ Ezekiel Jackson
The bell rings and Hardy immediately slaps The Kendrick in the face!! The Kendrick is down on the mat but gets up in the corner and Hardy hits him with a kick and some punches before Charles Robinson pulls him off! The Kendrick charges Hardy and gets a hip toss for his trouble! Hardy bounces The Kendrick’s head off the turnbuckle and hits a kick to the midsection again before Robinson gets him off! Hardy brings him out of the corner and goes for the alley-oop but The Kendrick back drops him to the canvas and then clotheslines Hardy over the top rope while The Kendrick does a crazy dance and we go to commercial.:::Commercial Break:::We come back from the break and The Kendrick has Jeff Hardy in The Boston Crab! Hardy struggles a bit but he finally crawls his way to the ropes and the hold is legally supposed to be broken now. The Kendrick kicks Hardy’s hand off the bottom rope and kicks him again. The Kendrick hits a low dropkick to the face and gets a two and a half count! The Kendrick hits a snapmare and kicks Hardy in the back before locking on the Boston Crab again! Hardy gets to the ropes quicker this time.The Kendrick goes for the Boston Crab again but Hardy gets on his foot and does his flipping mule kick sending The Kendrick flying! The Kendrick is down in the corner and Hardy hits his slingshot corner dropkick! The Kendrick tries to crawl out of the ring but Hardy grabs him and goes for the Twist of Fate but The Kendrick pushes him into the ropes and Hardy dodges a kick from The Kendrick and gets him in a sitout inverted suplex slam aka inverted Falcon’s Arrow. Hardy covers and gets an EXTREMELY close two and a half count!Hardy walks towards the top rope but The Kendrick grabs his ankle! Hardy kicks him off and goes to whip The Kendrick but he reverses it and hits a thrust kick to the face! The Kendrick whips Hardy into the corner and Hardy begins climbing the ropes for Whisper in the Wind but stops when he sees Ezekiel Jackson on the stairs looking up at him! Hardy turns into a kick from The Kendrick. The Kendrick goes for The Kendrick but Hardy gets a backslide for the pin!!
Winner by Pinfall: Jeff Hardy
Jeff Hardy rolls out of the ring and celebrates. He gets to the top of the stage and taunts to the crowd and turns into a HUGE thrust kick from Vladimir Kozlov!! Kozlov looks down at Hardy’s broken body before looking at the crowd with much ire. Hardy is quivering on the steel grating as Kozlov looks down now.Backstage, Vickie Guerrero is talking to someone. Big Show bursts in and says Undertaker is here! “Undertaker” enters her office and it’s a point of view shot from the camera. Big Show is in fighting position but Vickie smiles and says she’s got this. She says “On your knees, you foul creature.” Good one… The camera angle goes to a “down on the knees” position. Vickie says apologize and “Undertaker” says he’s sorry. She says that’s not good enough and to kiss her feet and apologize. We get a close up of Vickie’s feet (NASTY!!) and “Undertaker” says he’s sorry. “Undertaker” gets up and the camera pans back and we see it’s Chavo Guerrero! That Under-Faker! They all laugh and Chavo tries to roll his eyes back. Big Show says that was a lot of fun and they play the tape AGAIN of Big Show beating down Undertaker. I think they do this to annoy me.They advertise the October 3rd debut of Smackdown on MyNetwork with its All Star kick off consisting of a Champion vs. Champions night. The Main Event is Triple H vs. Chris Jericho vs. Matt Hardy! How did I get so lucky???
:::Commercial Break:::
Did you know that WWE Books have had twenty books that have made the New York Times Best Seller list? I guess they’re running out of things to highlight about themselves. I’m not a casual fan by any stretch of the imagination but if I was, and I speak only from how I would feel, I wouldn’t give two fecal matters.It’s time for Carlito’s Cabana! The Cabana is in the ring and Carlito is in the ring with Primo Colon! Carlito has a microphone problem and then welcomes us to Carlito’s Cabana! Carlito says it was great to return to Smackdown last week but even better to team up with his baby brother, his guest tonight, Primo Colon! Carlito asks him how it felt to score his first big win on Smackdown last week! Primo says he was surprised and Carlito asks why. Primo says it was so easy! Primo says he thought the competition was better but if that’s the best they have then they’ll be WWE Tag Team Champions and THAT is cool! Carlito quickly tells him not to steal his lines in a humorous moment. Carlito says this is his show and not to steal his lines. Primo thought it was their show but Carlito reminds him of the name of the segment and Primo now realizes.Hawkins and Ryder’s music hits and they make their way to the ring looking a little miffed. Gregory Helms pops up in the corner and says “Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder. How about Curt and Jerk?” That was a little lamer than his previous bit on Shelton Benjamin. Hawkins says he needs to get this straight. Carlito and Primo want to be Tag Team Champs but all they did was get lucky last week. Primo asks Carlito who these guys are! Ryder asks if he’s serious and says they’re the WWE Tag Team Champions and he knows it. Carlito then asks them seriously who they are and why they’re interrupting Carlito’s show. Hawkins then says their names and says what title they hold. Carlito then asks if they’re really the WWE Tag Team Champions and then falls to his knees laughing! Carlito says if they’re really the WWE Tag Team Champions then they should have a Championship match right here and right now on the Cabana!Ryder says something but I had to turn up the volume because he was holding the mic about ten miles from his face. He said something along the lines of they can’t have a shot because they just started or something like that. Primo says that at least people know who they are. Hawkins says people DO know who they are – they used to roll with the Rated R Superstar Edge and La Familia and Primo gets excited thinking they speak Spanish because he thought they were Canadian! Primo then speaks Spanish and they don’t know what he said and neither do I. He then says something else but Carlito covers his mouth because apparently it was bad and Carlito says that Primo said they aren’t cool!Hawkins approaches and Carlito says to take it easy. Hawkins says if they want a shot it will be on their terms – next week! The Tag Team Titles will be on the line and Ryder says when they win that will be cool and Carlito says not to steal his lines as Primo says GRACIAS! Carlito says that means “Thank you.” Carlito’s music then hits and Carlito says it’s time to wrap things up and asks someone to come pack their stuff. Jesse and Festus’s music hits and they come to the ring with their moving supplies as Hawkins and Ryder blindside Carlito and Primo. Primo falls out of the ring and the Tag Champs double team Carlito until Jesse gets in and tries to help. Primo rings the bell and Festus makes the transformation and gets in the ring and helps clear house before ripping the palm tree off the apron and chases them away with it. JR tells us not to adjust our sets – a large, mentally handicapped man is running around with a palm tree!Still to come tonight – Triple H vs. MVP!
:::Commercial Break:::
We come back from the break and we have an outside shot of the Country Music Hall of Fame!Backstage, we see Maria sketching a picture of lady in a dress and Brie Bella walks in. Maria shows off her picture and Brie says she wants Maria to make her something for the ring and just in case it breaks to make an identical one! Victoria then comes in with Natalya Neidhart and says they’ve been thinking that there is something wrong when she goes under the ring and comes out all happy – she’s obviously having an affair with Hornswoggle! They then say that they’re going to figure out her secret next week when they team up to face Maria and Brie Bella. Natalya says she couldn’t even design for a thrift store and tears up her sketch and leaves!In the ring is the unfortunate Colt Cabana/Scotty Goldman. He didn’t even make an entrance on TV. Oh my God. I can’t even begin to explain the suckiness of the pre-taped interview he did. This was probably the most embarrassing thing I’ve seen WWE make a wrestler do in about three weeks. Goldman is making noises and a face and holds up a paper bag puppet and says it’s The Great Khali before attempting to eat it and continues making those noises. How embarrassing. I actually feel bad for him.
Scotty Goldman vs. The Great Khali w/ Ranjin Singh
The bell rings and this match is over already. Just kidding – it should be though and so should the Scotty Goldman character. Khali goes to grab him but Goldman goes under his arms and kicks him in the legs a few times before Khali catches his head and throws him into the ropes and levels him with a clothesline. Khali puts him in the corner and kicks him down before choking him with his foot. Khali bounces Goldman’s head off the top turnbuckle hard and then hits a short arm clothesline. Khali hangs onto the arm and picks him up and does it again! Khali picks him up by the head with one hand then hits the Khali Bomb and covers him with one foot for the win.
Winner by Pinfall: The Great Khali
Advertised for next week – The Great Khali vs. Vladimir Kozlov! That’s going to be interesting!
:::Commercial Break:::
Up next is Triple H vs. MVP but first we get a reminder from Tazz that last week nearly doubled the amount of fans who watched college football! I don’t care what the reports say – everyone in WWE and the world for that matter except for Dave Stephens and the people of PWInsider.com!We now get the RAW Recap highlighting the cage match and then the announcement of the #1 Contender – Shawn Michaels! He’ll face Chris Jericho in a Ladder Match at No Mercy for the World Heavyweight Championship.Backstage, Hawkins and Ryder are singing the blues about Carlito and Primo not knowing who they are. Chavo then says he needs things quiet so he can enjoy watching Big Show knock out Undertaker again and then kicks them out! We then get the video again. I’m convinced this is a shot at all the fans who hate this angle. Chavo’s TV then clips out and it comes up with an image of the Undertaker! Chavo then turns around and we get a point of view shot of the Undertaker grabbing Chavo’s throat and Chavo looking into the camera with terror. Cheese.
:::Commercial Break:::
It’s Main Event time! Triple H is making his way out to the ring and this contest is set for one fall, of course.
Triple H vs. MVP
The bell rings and we see a group of soldiers chanting for Triple H! Always nice to see the brave men in uniform at WWE events! The two now lock up and Triple H gets MVP in the corner and MVP turns him and executes the clean break before performing his taunt for The Game. They lock up again and MVP has the WWE Champion in a side headlock. MVP has this really locked in until Triple H backs him into the ropes and pushes him off but MVP comes back with a shoulder tackle. MVP then does his BALLIN taunt! MVP now goes into the ropes and jumps over Triple H and when he comes back Triple H goes for the hip toss but MVP counters into a hip toss of his own! MVP talks a little trash as Triple H gets up!They lock up again and MVP gets Triple H in a side headlock. Triple H backs him into the ropes and shoots him off but MVP comes back with another shoulder tackle, leveling the WWE Champion! MVP now jumps over Triple H and comes off the ropes into another hip toss attempt from Triple H but MVP reverses it into an attempt of his own but Triple H clotheslines him down! Triple H now steals MVP’s taunt and then tells him to suck it! What is it with stealing taunts and gimmicks tonight? First Michelle McCool, then Chavo impersonates Undertaker… now this?! I like it and so does the crowd!MVP charges Triple H and eats a right hand! MVP is holding his nose and telling the referee to keep Triple H off! Triple H picks him up and punches him in the nose again! MVP is not happy about this! MVP now charges and Triple H takes him down with a drop toe hold and MVP is holding his nose again! Triple H now executes a beautiful headlock takeover and keeps it locked in on the canvas. The fans are chanting Triple H as we go to break. That chant sounded fake.
:::Commercial Break:::
We’re back from the break and we see MVP using the top rope to stretch Triple H’s left arm! The referee counts and MVP breaks the hold. MVP wrenches the arm and twists it and then wrenches it a few more times. Triple H starts hitting some right hands but MVP blocks and hits his signature face buster for a two count! During the break we saw MVP whip Triple H into the turnbuckle and the velocity throws him to the outside of the ring. I like that move – physically impossible but still impressive and surprising when he does it! We then see that also during the break MVP injured the left arm by snapping it over the top rope!MVP stomps on the left arm and then locks in a standing arm bar! The fans are chanting for Triple H but the camera shot shows no one on camera side is chanting but a little kid. That’s not good enough to convince me they’re really chanting during a rest hold! MVP drops a knee on the shoulder and Triple H gets up to his feet in the corner and kicks MVP in the abdomen. He hits a right hand but MVP wrenches that left arm and Triple H screams in pain! MVP goes for a cover but barely gets one before locking in a key lock! MVP even puts a body scissors on Triple H to put more pressure on before sitting up. Triple H now gets to his knees and then to his feet and he struggles to get out and he does and he powers out but MVP stops it and hits the left arm again before locking in a hammerlock and driving his knees into it! MVP pulls on that left arm to turn Triple H and covers for a two count! MVP now locks on an arm bar and elbows the shoulder! MVP keeps hitting that shoulder and Triple H gets up to his feet and hits a right hand but MVP wrenches the arm again but Triple H keeps trying until MVP wrenches harder and gets the arm bar back on! MVP now has a wrist lock applied on Triple H. Triple H struggles up and powers out but MVP knees him in the midsection and goes to whip Triple H but he reverses and lowers his head and MVP kicks him in the face coming off the ropes! MVP then hits an arm breaker for a two count!!Triple H gets up in the corner and MVP clotheslines the back of his head! MVP then measures Triple H up for the Drive By Kick and then charges and Triple H hits him with his High Knee to the face! Both men are down now! Triple H gets up to his knees holding his left arm and hits MVP with a right hand a few times. MVP fights back but Triple H ducks a hit and hits a textbook neckbreaker! Triple H whips MVP but he counters and whips him and Triple H comes off the ropes and hits his signature face buster! Triple H then comes off the ropes with a flying clothesline and gets a two and a half count!!Triple H whips MVP into the corner and charges but eats MVP’s boot. MVP charges and Triple H delivers the Double A Spinebuster and the Nashville crowd is legit hot now!! Too bad MVP rolls out of the ring. Triple H goes to get MVP but MVP played possum and bounced his head off the announcer’s table and throws Triple H back in the ring!MVP now goes up to the top rope and comes off into a kick to the midsection and a Pedigree and this match is over!!
Winner by Pinfall: Triple H
Vladimir Kozlov’s music now hits and he makes his way out to the ring and stares down Triple H. Triple H calls for him to get in the ring and he does!The two men stare down each other before MVP causes the distraction by getting on the apron and Triple H handles him but Kozlov hits him from behind! Kozlov hits some rights and Triple H starts coming back with some rights of his own! Kozlov gets a knee to the midsection and puts him in the corner and drives his shoulder into the Champion’s ribs a few times! Kozlov now whips Triple H into the ropes and Triple H hits his face buster on Kozlov!! Triple H goes into the ropes and Kozlov DESTROYS Triple H with his Battering Ram Head-butt! Kozlov stands over the WWE Champion as Smackdown goes off the air!
· Now we got some ROH results to report…
~ROH returns to Boston on May 8th, 2009.
Preshow
1) Ernie Osiris defeats Frankie Aereon with his feet on the ropes.
2) Brutal Bob Evans defeats Alex Payne with a powerslam.
Main Show~
Mitch Franklin is out in the ring dressed as a lumberjack. He says his name is "Grizzly Redwood" and that it's time to get his career back on track.
1) Chasyn Rance defeats "Grizzly Redwood" with a piledriver in an entertaining match. Crowd was really in to the lumberjack deal actually.~Austin Aries is out to start the PPV taping. He calls out Jimmy Jacobs. Jacobs comes out and gets Aries' attention while Delirious attacks from behind.
2) Austin Aries defeats Delirious with the Last Chancery. After the match the AOTF gang up on Aries and lay him out on the outside of the ring on a table. Jimmy Jacobs comes off the top with a senton laying Aries through it.~SNS Inc. are now out. Sara Del Rey squashes some nameless jobber who got no introduction.
3) Brent Albright & Erick Stevens defeat Adam Pearce & Eddie Edwards when Albright hits Pearce with a half nelson suplex for three. Fun old school tag match.
4) Chris Hero defeats Jerry Lynn in a decnt but disappointing bout with a loaded roaring elbow.
5) Bryan Danielson defeats Claudio Castagnoli and Go Shiozaki in a three way elimination match. Claudio got DQ'd first for attacking the referee and had to be restrained by students. Laid out Dragon before he left. Dragon and Shiozaki go at it, with Dragon trapping Go in the Triangle Choke for the win.~After the match Dragon says he's done what Nigel wanted, and he challenges him for the title in Chicago in November.
6) Jay & Mark Briscoe defeat Ruckus & Jigsaw, Necro Butcher, and the YRR when the Briscoes hit a doomsday device on Blade. Fun spotfest to end the first half.
~INTERMISSION~
7) Daizee Haze defeats Madison Eagles in a decent match with the Mind Trip.
8) Rhett Titus defeats Josh Daniels by reversing a roll up for a three count. Funny match.
9) ROH World Championship: Nigel McGuinness defeats Roderick Strong with a Tower of London to retain the ROH World Championship. Match started slow but really picked up towards the end.~After the match, Nigel accepts Dragon's challenge for a title match in Chicago.
10) ROH World Tag Team Championships: Kevin Steen & El Generico defeat Jimmy Jacobs and Tyler Black to win the Championships with a Package Piledriver/Brainbuster combo. Incredible match, "Loundest pop I've heard since Homicide at COD.
· There was another ROH Show to report…
Ring Of Honor returned to the ECW Arena (despite other reports to the contrary, ROH has run the Arena before, on March 11, 2006 during the exciting 2006 Ring of Honor vs. CZW series) last night before a standing room only crowd estimated at 1100. This was the largest crowd in the ECW Arena since the TNA Hardcore War 2006 shows.
· Jerry Lynn defeated Kenny King with his trademark Cradle Piledriver. It was great to see Jerry Lynn still so over with the Arena crowd. He seemed pleasantly surprised at the volume of the crowd reaction.
· NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Adam Pearce defeats Brent Albright to once again become the NWA World Heavyweight Champion. Adam locked Brent in the Crowbar and forced the submission.
· Full Impact Heavyweight Championship: Go Shiozaki defeated Kevin Steen to retain the title after Shiozaki nailed Steen with two Go Flashers to get the pinfall. Post-match, Nigel McGuinness ran in and DDT'd Kevin Steen on the ROH World Championship belt, saying that hewouldn;t ever get the Ring of Honor title, and maybe HE'D go after the tag belts next.In an incredible match, Pro Wrestling NOAH Global Honored Crown Junior Heavyweight Champion Bryan Danielson defended his title, defeating Katsuhiko Nakajima to retain with the Cattle Mutilation submission
· Erick Stevens defeated Rhett Titus by pinfall after a Doctor Bomb.Post-match, Larry Sweeney and Sweet and Sour, Inc. came out, with Sweeney offering Erick Stevens a contract to join the Sweet and Sour, Inc. Stevens declines, so Sweet and Sour, Inc. jumpedt him down followed by Go Shiozaki kneedropping Stevens on a chair. Roderick Strong, Ruckus, and Jigsaw came in to make the save, which segued into...
· Chris Hero, Eddie Edwards, and Shane Hagadorn defeated Roderick Strong, Ruckus, and Jigsaw. Post-match, Sweet and Sour, Inc. gave Roderick Strong the same treatment Stevens got, including a top rope elbow. Think Sweet and Sour, Inc. is being booked mega-strong here, folks?
· Kensuke Sasaki defeats Claudio Castagnoli with a Northern Lights Bomb. Decent match, but lacked the reaction to Sasaki I would have expected.
· Ring of Honor World Championship: Nigel McGuinness defeated El Generico to retain. The mastch was set up so that erven the jaded Philadelphia crowd thought Generico had a legit change.The top turnbuckle brainbuster was being teased with the crowd going nuts, before El Generico finally nailed McGuinness with an in-ring Brainbuster, followed by but McGuinness rolling through and pinning Generico with a roll up.
· Steel Cage WarfareRules: Two men drawn at random will start. Wrestlers from each team will enter the cage in 3 minute intervals. Eliminations can happen at anytime. Eliminations are by pinfall or submission. The Necro Butcher can be drawn to enter the cage at any point. The match goes on until only one team (or The Necro Butcher) survives. There are no other rules. The participants are:The Briscoes/Austin Aries vs. The Age of the Fall of Jimmy Jacobs/Tyler Black/Delirious vs. The Necro ButcherAustin Aries vs. Tyler Black starts the match. Order of entrants Jimmy Jacobs, Necro Butcher, Jay Briscoe, Delirious, and Mark BriscoeNecro Butcher takes some lobotomy-inducing chairshots from Tyler Black and Jimmy Jacobs. Necro Butcher is later the first one eliminated (by Aries and Jacobs) to the vocal displeasure of a strong segment of the crowd.Mark Briscoe has brought in a barbed wire table only to be its victim as Tyler Black gives Mark a running powerbomb through the barbed wire table. Later on, Jay is dumped off the top of the cage through a table on the floor. Next elimination was Austin Aries, taken out by Jacobs' End Time.In the shocker moment of the match, Jacobs gives Delirious his spike. He goes to spike Jay, but in comes Daizee Haze. Daizee tries to talk him out of it pleading for him to nail Jacobs. Then, Delirious nails Daizee with the spike to the shock of the crowd.Later on, Mark Briscoe climbs to the top of the cage and does an insane dive onto all assembled. Finally, Delirious is eliminated via a Doomsday Device from the Briscoes. Jimmy Jacobs nailed both Briscoes with the spike, followed by chair shots. The Briscoes pull one out of the Road Warrior playbook and no-sell the chair shots. Jimmy Jacobs and Tyler Black are taken out by double pin via stereo Jay Driller/Cut-Throat Drivers
Personal Notes
· I was lazy all day today, doin tha sportz thang.
My Picc’z for TONIGHT’s Games
BASEBALL
· DETROIT
· BOSTON (P) (G)
· TAMPA BAY
· MY WHITE SOX
· THE ANGELS (P)
· OAKLAND
· THE YANKEES (P)
· CINCINNATI
· THE METS
· WASHINGTON
· HOUSTON (P) (G)
· THE CUBS (P)
· ARIZONA (P)
· THE DODGERS (P)
· PHILADELPHIA (P)
FOOTBALL
· ATLANTA –6
· RAIDERS +9 ½ (P)
· TENNESSEE –4 ½
· GIANTS –13
· WASHINGTON –3 (P)
· MIAMI +12 ½
· THE BEARS –3
· MINNESOTA –3
· SEATTLE –9 ½
· DETROIT +4 ½
· DENVER –5
· PHILADELPHIA –3
· COLTS –4 ½ (P)
· BALTIMORE –2 ½
· DALLAS –3 (P)
· THE JETS +8 ½
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