THE BECOMING OF A FAMILY MAN!

Life sometimes brings some interesting shit in ya face if ya really sit and think about it.

I know there is alot of yall out there that dont know alot about me, but let me be tha first one to tell you that my childhood and young adult hood was not the most proper...lol...Some of yall know that growin up I became involved wit gangs, drugs, and guns. Now at the age of 27, I believe that I have transferred my life into something that no one ever thought I would...

A FAMILY MAN...

That transition has been very difficult, yet very easy at the same time.

Let me explain...When you make a transition of that magnitude, it causes you to end certain ways about yourself that you never imagined that you could. That is tha truth. For instance, I had a son born in 2003; Isaiah Kane. I hated his mother to tha fullest extent because she was a ho and I knew it. She was not willing to grow up no matter how much I made her. In 2004, that relationship ended and I was told that I could ONLY see my son if I was sexually intimate with her. Now, at tha time I was single, so I was like "fucc it"...I did what I had to to see my son and get paid at tha same time. Now, obviously that wouldnt really work once I got into another series relationship. Unfortunatly, due to my NON-WILLINGNESS to comply with that rule any more, I was forced to whip her ass and call it a day. I havent seen my son since. I believe that was EARLY 2005.

Throughout time, there was a bitch here...a bitch there...then came the BIG RELATIONSHIP again with my current woman. I will not speak of her here out of respect for HER PRIVACY, but I will give an outline of tha situation...She has 5 children from a previous long marriage. Most of yall know I dont play that "babby daddy bein around" shit, so I eliminated that shit IMMEDIATLY. (Kinda...i will explain another time about that one)...In tha beginning, I didnt think that I would become tha "daddy" figure NOR "husband" figure that I now strive to be each and every day. Throughout time, it just kinda happened...lol...In tha beginning, I didnt really know how to raise FIVE KIDS...Yea, I had been there for my own son and even occasionally other bitches children. Howeva, this one was different...there became more emotion involved than I could eva expect there to be. I ACTUALLY LOVED ALL SIX OF THEM.

I aint neva loved mutha fuccaz before. I was a mutha fuccin PIMP befo this shit...Now...

Now...I cook meals and give medicines and watch bullshit ass cartoons and shit. What tha fucc happened? Well, the answer is simple...its that change that I originally mentioned in tha beginning of this blog. Somehow my love for them caused me to love myself less. There is nothing wrong with that. It just put my own ranking down a couple of notches. Feel me? When you got SIX other mutha fuccaz depending on ya, its kinda hard to do some of tha same irresponsible shit. When I was locced up THREE times, tha only one that cared was my girl and her kids.

It made me look at EVERYTHANG...my blue rag...my beer...my pimpin...and it made me put it into perspective...Now, I will admit that there are really only 3 things that I have given up for this relationship and fatherhood. Those are 1) Bitches 2) Music 3) Hangin Out all night...At first, those were some hard things to give up since I am a man. I know you women may not understand, but it makes a man feel like he has become Cpt. Save a Ho. No, my woman is NOT a ho, but it still makes a man think of that name. Every argument, every disagreement always sends me bacc to tha same thought process, which is tha thought that I gave too much up. Howeva, every smile I see after that makes me feel like it is ALL WORTH IT and a good thang that I have neva left for good. (I have however left THREE times).

I guess Im just rambling about shit, but sometimes I sit bacc and think about the sacrifices and see all tha lonelyness out there by so many of you and I feel GREATFUL that I am KING JB. I feel greatful that I have what I have. I feel greatful that I have my family, even if it did cost me in tha end. EVERYTHING HAS A PRICE...NOTHING IS FREE.

I could go on for hours about this right now, but these kids are fuccin up right now and I gotta go whip some ass...lol...Holla at yall later.

KING JB